Do You See What I See?
by ExtinctionOfReality
Summary: Karamatsu/Ichimatsu Summary: A series of unpleasant events causes the two brothers to grow closer, to understand each other and realize...that maybe they are both not as different after all.
1. Part One

**Summary:** A series of unpleasant events causes the two brothers to grow closer, to understand each other and realize...that maybe they are both not as different after all.

 **Pairing:** IchiKara

 **Rating:** PG-13

 **Warnings:** you have stumbled into a world of depression and suicidal thoughts (leave now if you can't handle this, you have been warned!), abstractness/weirdness

 **A/N:** Because of what I was describing here, you can argue that the brothers wouldn't do this, that they wouldn't be so cruel...but the show has shown me otherwise. Still, keep in mind that this may appear too harsh, but it's just my personal interpretation anyway.

I dedicate this small story to a dear person. No questions asked.

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Osomatsu-san.

 _ **Part One**_

Family is important. I am not just saying this, I mean it... It's only thanks to family that certain values can arise...thanks to family, you will feel more love and protection, you can identify your reason for existence. It...depends on the family too...and...to be honest...

Mine is far from ideal.

I...still love it though. How can I not? I have been with my brothers since forever, I have watched them all for a very long time and...well, I have my own opinion on each and every one, not that it matters...right?

So I will save you from a boring rant...and move onto the actual point.

Yeah...as a matter of fact, there is.

The fact I am always there, a shadow looming in the room with no one really paying attention to me (which I am thankful for), there are a lot of things I get to see... Even more things I wish I didn't have to see or know about. It's problematic to get involved in things four of my brothers do...

Yeah... I said four...when I have five...

There are certain times the four brothers just cross the line. We always get into all sorts of situations, from silly to most serious ones and there are no boundaries to us. You can literally expect anything.

But... I never thought I would witness something like...

Clenching my only friend to my chest, I stood up from my corner and silently strolled over to the lively table. I didn't say anything, not yet, as I stopped right beside Todomatsu, the youngest of us brothers.

It was dinner...and sometimes, occasionally actually, our parents would go out, leaving the food for us to heat up.

Each batch had a neat piece of paper attached to it with our names written on it... And it was fair, to avoid a situation I was witnessing right now.

I admit, maybe the fact I was holding the cat made me look less intimidating, and it took a while for the brothers, Todomatsu specifically, to notice me, but when they did, the light-hearted atmosphere didn't falter. In fact, Osomatsu-nii patted that free seat right next to him, telling me to grab my lunch and join them.

I stared at them for a second longer, watching bowls being passed around, before stating flatly, "That's... Karamatsu's food."

There was a short pause, a short silence fell in the room. Did they actually acknowledge my words, just this once..? It was surprising to say the least, because just like one of the older brothers, not currently present in the room, I was hardly ever acknowledged...

I looked at Todomatsu because it was his idea that the rest of the brothers happily joined in on.

Our family is big. We don't work yet... And money is very scarce. We have food on our table thanks to our parents...and that food is usually strictly divided into three meals throughout the day.

I am not complaining. I am sincerely grateful...

"It's his fault for not being here right now..." that was Todomatsu.

"Why waste good food? He is probably not hungry if he is still not here," Choromatsu.

"Or maybe he finally got hooked up with some chick?" Osomatsu.

"Him?! Ha ha, I highly doubt that," Choromatsu.

"...'Who is Karamatsu'..?" Jyushimatsu...

I subconsciously squeezed my best friend tightly to my chest at that. He was imitating me, wasn't he..?

"Ah, I highly doubt Karamatsu would even mind... Dig in with us, Ichimatsu-nii," Todomatsu smiled, offering me a more than a half eaten bowl of rice, Karamatsu's share.

I was hungry. Just like all of them... But...

This was wrong. And I wasn't sure how they didn't see it as they were already ignoring me and eating again.

Now...there are plenty of things I could do in this situation. All of them knew how dangerous I could get...

But... It was too late for that really. Karamatsu's food was already finished.

I could tell our parents... But that would be problematic. I could tell Karamatsu...but I didn't want to socialize with him more than necessary.

Socializing in general was a pain in the ass really. I sometimes wish people would learn how to read the mood and leave me alone...

Ah... In my musings, I didn't even notice how empty and quiet the room became. I could hear them in the distance, in another room, laughing and playing some game I never wanted to be part of...

Silently, not that I was ever loud and talkative, I made my way to the kitchen. The sun has already set and street lamps were on. It was slowly getting late and as such, I knew Karamatsu was going to be home soon...

Stepping to my untouched food... I pause for a second, eyeing it all...and take my name off of it.

I unwrap one of the bowls containing fish and take a few small pieces of it, sharing some with my friend, before wrapping it back up and placing on the counter...then I walk over to the trash can with all of the discarded wrappers...and rummage through, finding Karamatsu's name. I could have written it myself again, but it was a bit problematic to search for a pen and a piece of paper when all I needed to do was shove my hand into a trash can and find it.

And soon enough, I did. I find Karamatsu's name and place it in place of my name, leaving the kitchen right after for my corner.

I didn't realize I fell asleep until I was woken up by the sound of Karamatsu's loud voice and the slam of the front door, "Guess what everyone?! I got pears!"

All brothers except for me were all over him in seconds. I watched the scene, wishing I had the will in me to murder all of the brothers...except for Karamatsu of course... Ironically.

Hmm...maybe I will kill them all someday.

Slowly, my love for the four...was disintegrating for what they did.

"I have one for you too, Ichimatsu."

I didn't realize in time that a pear was right in front of my face... Pausing a second, I grabbed it and eyed it, then looked up at Karamatsu.

I wondered...where he got the pears..? Why he got them? And...how he got them, considering we were broke..?

But all I could do was mutter a "thank you" as I dug into my dinner for the night, watching Karamatsu go grab all of the food I left him.

A tiny, barely visible smile crept on my lips.

I was glad.

 _ **[TBC]**_


	2. Part Two

_**Part 2**_

It was a chilly night out and I was glad I was wearing my hoodie as I made it down the street, sometimes glancing at the scenery in the distance. It was already night time and I spent all day strolling around the city aimlessly, watching its people (not really caring about their lives), admiring some of the views I got (silently wishing I had a camera), but mostly watching cats...

God I loved cats. They were the only source of joy in my life... I sincerely believe they are the cutest creatures on the face of this planet. I'm glad they exist.

I wasn't sure what hour it was and I didn't particularly had a way of telling...because I couldn't read the stars. Well, maybe it was somewhere past seven...maybe...

I wasn't thinking about where I was going as I stopped at a pond...a place where Karamatsu-nii and me loved to go fishing...

If there was one place in this entire city that brought me good memories...it was this...beside all of the stray cats.

And this kind of made me think that while... Indeed, I am anti-social... I don't enjoy the company of one single person...but at the same time, I...didn't find Karamatsu's compainy annoying...which is weird in itself considering how he tends to get, but...

I... Really don't find him annoying.

Why that might be?

Well... I would like to theorise about this a bit more...

But my thought process was interrupted by a loud.

"ICHIMATSU!"

Speak of the devil... I turn in time to see Karamatsu stomping over to me. It's hard to read his fecial expressions, when he is wearing sunglasses practically all the time... But from the way his lips were turned downwards, I guessed he was...mad?

Frowning...that's what he was doing...

But I had no idea why he was... Or whether it had anything to do with me.

What I wondered was...how did he find me? How long was he looking for me..?

And that in itself made me realize that-

"In the last three days...were you starving yourself...because of me?!"

I pause, thinking about it...

That's right... The same situation persisted recently and I kept doing the same thing each day...by giving my share of dinner to Karamatsu. But not today...since I went into the city and it kind of slipped my mind.

Damn...so he found out this way...huh... Not that it was a secret I suppose...but...

While Karamatsu was holding himself together well, hiding his emotions well behind anger...

I knew he was upset... I knew his heart was aching.

...mine would be too...

"I...wasn't starving."

"But why did you give all of your food to me?! Why-?!"

He didn't finish the question...but I knew it was 'why I was sacrificing myself for him'.

And...to be honest, it was a ridiculous question...because...he was my brother...and... I may not admit it out loud, but... I looked up to him. From all of the older brothers, I admired him most.

He is the only support I ever had. Karamatsu is the only close human being I have...

I am not sure what he thinks of me... But...it's obvious to me where my admiration for him lies.

Wonder if...he realized, or noticed, it too..?

"I didn't want for you to miss dinner," was my calm reply...and his expression changed. He calmed down.

"Why didn't you tell me this was happening..?"

Well... It's kind of obvious why...

Because... I didn't want for you to hurt.

I realized it now. My original thought was that I didn't want to socialize with him...but in all actuality, I wanted to protect him...

And I failed...didn't I..?

Instead of replying, I looked back at the scene before us. The street lamps lighted the pond from both sides. The light flickering in the endlessly moving water... It was soothing...it was calming...

But... I supposed the actual source of my peace was standing right beside me.

"Ichimatsu..." he stepped closer to me, leaning down to catch my gaze and I looked at him without a second thought.

The only brother I ever wanted to look at...at this point...after that...incident...

"Please take better care of yourself...don't sacrifice your health for me..."

"But...who is going to look after you..?"

There... I said it... And he looked at me for a short moment...before a sad smile graced his lips...and he took his shades off... Allowing for me to see a genuine expression on his face.

Ah...he was...beautiful.

Is it...narcissistic for me to say that..?

No... I don't think so...because...physically, we may look similar, but...we are so different none the less...

Our personalities and-

"Why would you bother to look...my way?"

Ah... I realized that-

I knew nothing about Karamatsu.

What he did in his free time, what he was thinking most of the time.

Nothing.

Nothing.

But still... I could...

Understand him.

On a personal level.

Because I-

I-

"You are my brother. And...family needs to stick together."

He laughed.

And I agreed.

It was all a lie.

 _ **[TBC]**_


	3. Part Three

_**Part Three**_

Next time I saw him in the city, I stumbled across him sitting behind the fence...on a rooftop.

I didn't think too deeply about it as I made my way there, clenching one of the stray kitties to my chest, who oddly enough was tame in my arms. Maybe because I fed it...

Stopping right beside him, I touched the fence and looked down. It was a four story building... Raising my eyes, I looked at the distance, at the amazing view of the sunset. It was absolutely mesmerizing...

The wind picked up a bit and finally, I looked down at my brother, sitting dangerously close to the edge. I had no idea what he was doing there, but I had my guesses for sure...

"You know... I never understood...why they never noticed me," Karamatsu's voice cracked a bit...and it made my heart clench.

I...didn't know what to say to that. But from personal experience, I could point out one thing, "They can get pretty bad... I know..." I got laughed at on many occasions too.

Karamatsu looked up at me. He didn't have his shades on...and it worried me.

Slowly, a bad feeling was creeping under my skin...as to...why he was there... What he was planning to do...

Slowly, realization was hitting my mind with full force.

Karamatsu stood up and the wind picked up again...and I watched him with widened eyes, my hands subconsciously dropping the cat (sorry little one, I didn't do it on purpose), my eyes solely on Karamatsu's back.

"You didn't need to stand up for me... Ichimatsu..."

Fists clenched at my sides. Of course I would...

"I don't give a damn about myself...as long as all of you are happy, after all."

Stop it...

A bitter laugh, "I mean...who would even notice if I was gone..."

I would... I would... I woul-

"Someone as useless and unnecessary as me... Should just..."

No no no no no-

"...die..."

"NO!" was my loud yell, so uncharacteristic of me that it shocked even Karamatsu, who slowly turned his head to look at me.

I didn't even realize my fingers were clenching the fence before I felt metal digging into my fingers from how hard I held it...wishing I could just tear it down...

My head was downcast... So I doubt he could see the expression on my face, which I myself would struggle to describe...

I was trying to find words... Any words... Anything... To ease his heart, to make him rethink this.

There were too many thoughts and none at all. All of the flashbacks of us hanging out together flooded my mind, one image after another...of his smiling face, his laugh, his voice, his...selfless personality...

Indeed... Karamatsu was selfless. I realize it now.

I...realize...

I...

With a calm expression on my face, I look up at my brother. I wasn't sure if he understood anything, if he could read my eyes...but...

It didn't matter. Because I had something to say, "Where...did you get those pears?"

"...huh..?!"

I held my gaze with his, "Five days ago...and yesterday...where did you get pears?"

Karamatsu stared at the dumbfounded, but slowly, he was understanding what I was getting at...and his eyes softened just a little bit... The darkness I saw looming in them just seconds ago...was gone, replaced by a different emotion...

I was relieved to see that, but I didn't pay too much attention to it... In my desperation to get though to him, "...what have you been doing all day recently..? You are hardly ever home..."

A tiny smile appeared on his lips as he watched me...and my heartbeat quickened...was it relief, or something more too..?

I didn't know... I didn't care at that time...

And he pushed a hand into his jacket's pocket, pulling out a few bills, "I managed to find a job."

Amazed, my eyes widened just a bit and I gaped at him.

This time... I was presented with the most beautiful sight I witnessed my entire life. Everything...no matter what scenery or cute cat... Everything crumbled under it.

It was as if he was shining...as if... An angel was standing right in front of me, graced by the sunset's rays all around him...

...his smile was extraordinary beautiful.

And my heart skipped a few beats.

 _ **[TBC]**_


	4. Part Four

_**Part Four**_

As we strolled back home on the same evening, Karamatsu's hand slipped into mine, fingers entwining. I complied without much as a second thought, eyeing our hands, then looking up at him. But when I did, he was already talking happily, so I let it go...focusing on his soothing voice instead.

"They invited me into the musical theater troupe after I sang them a song."

"Which song did you choose?"

Karamatsu raised his head proudly, ready to say something silly, I knew that, but then he smiled and looked at me with a warm expression on his face, "Remember that lullaby I used to sing you..?"

My heart started beating faster and I looked at my front, not at all sure what else to possibly say, because...of course I did...so I just walked silently...his hold on my hand tightening.

Finally, I decided on another question, "...how is it...that you always find me in the city?"

"...well...how is it that you find me just as effortlessly?"

He surely had a point, "...do we go to the same places?"

"Or maybe we are connected?"

I stared at the ground, contemplating that...and he leaned in to kiss my cheek, "Ichimatsu..." he just said my name, nothing else.

And my heart almost jumped out of my chest.

What was this feeling exactly..? Should I really identify this as...love?

Me? Love? And above all...Karamatsu?

Well...he is my brother...

But...question of the day...was this just brotherly love..?

I didn't want to think about this currently...and I was thankful for a change of subject, "You are really kind, you know that?" Karamatsu stated that too easily for my liking.

I looked at him, glad to see a smile gracing his lips. Considering what happened just moments ago, this was a good sign, "Why would you think that?"

"You are always kind to me."

"We had plenty fights in the past."

"But those were only because you didn't know how else to react."

"React?"

"Yeah, to my support for instance."

Ah..! Well... I never actually considered that... But now that I think about it, especially the most recent event... He was more than right.

By then we returned to the lively house and stopped at the entrance. I stared at our brothers playing on the porch, being happy go lucky, without a single care in the world.

The fact that both me and Karamatsu were still not back should be at least slightly worrisome...no?

Not because it was still earlier than 10 pm (even though I always came back home by then)...but because of how both me and him were.

But it didn't seem like anyone batted an eye.

The sight made me sick to my stomach.

They didn't care for us at all after all...

A sudden yank on my hand and I was forced to follow. This surprised me greatly but I didn't fight back, walking closely after, "Karamatsu?"

"...you don't want to go inside either, do you..?"

That didn't need an answer. He knew it for sure...that of course I didn't.

That's right...me and him...us both...we were really outsiders in our own house.

"I have enough money for a motel...or the capsule hotel."

"The capsule hotel will do."

Karamatsu looked back at me with...indescribable to me eyes, "I love it when you go with my plans no questions asked."

I thought about that for a moment...but realized I had nothing to say considering that... I liked his plans.

But there was a small problem.

"My cat."

"I'm pretty sure mother will take care of it."

That calmed my heart and I relaxed, allowing myself to be taken away by the person I...

The only person I actually cared for.

And by some twist of fate... He cared for me too.

Brothers or not... The meaning of 'family' was slowly losing its significance in my head...

And I only started seeing him.

No one else.

 _ **[TBC]**_


	5. Part Five

_**Part Five**_

Even though this happened days ago, thinking back...

It was truly beautiful.

I was starving myself, in his words, right..?

Well...when we returned home... My share of food was left untouched. Karamatsu didn't take it, obviously...

Of course he wouldn't...

Even though he kept smiling, I saw it all. He joked about the entire situation and laughed with other siblings as if nothing happened.

Maybe it was the smartest way to go about it...

But... I wouldn't have it. I wasn't the brightest one of the bunch and as such...

I silently grabbed Karamatsu's arm...and dragged him into the kitchen with me.

"What's up with Ichimatsu?"

"Yeah, is he okay?"

"More importantly, since when did they start getting along?"

"...what's going on?"

"I dunno...but like-"

I didn't care about anything the rest of the brothers said and focused on solely Karamatsu, who was confused about being dragged away from all of the...ugh...'fun'.

He was not having fun either...was he?

"What's wrong Ichimatsu?" I could read genuine concern in his eyes.

I just looked at him for a short while...then nodded towards untouched food, which was my share.

Now, I am not stupid... I know if I said it's his, he wouldn't even consider it...so instead, since I was also kind of hungry, I decided on a compromise, "This is too much for me. Let's..." looking to the side, I tried to find courage to say the next words... Damn, sometimes, at least during times like these, I wished he could read my mind, "Let's...eat...together."

Okay, I said it. Now comes the harder part... His reaction.

I had no idea how he would react to that.

At all.

But...at the same time, something was telling me to not worry...

Maybe...just maybe...

It was all going to be...okay.

And surely he frowned at first... But after that he smiled tenderly...and I'm pretty sure it was genuine...as he went to grab the food.

We ended up at the separate table in the kitchen, one our parents used, and ate. It has been ages since I last shared any food like this with anyone (it was usually with Jyushimatsu...a long time ago), so it was strange... Yet refreshing also.

We didn't talk, there was nothing to be said...or was it? I wasn't sure. We were brothers...and surely we knew everything about each other.

My cat came by asking for food...and I complied, giving from my half, Karamatsu watching me all this time.

And then...

"You and I... We are the black sheep of this family."

I look at him, not saying anything.

"You don't feel like you belong here either, do you...brother?"

The way he put emphasis on 'brother' made me feel weird.

"...me neither."

And just like that, he returned to eating. I stared at him and what food I had left for a short while...then continued eating too.

When we were finished and started putting away the plates and bowls into the sink, I finally replied, "...that's why... I think we belong...together."

He smiled at me...and I loved it.

...but after that...

I found out he wanted to jump.

So I was probably...as I was at that moment...

Not enough...

The word 'together' was mentioned just too many times by me...

Wasn't it..?

 _ **[TBC]**_


	6. Part Six

_**Part Six**_

We did not return home after that. Surprisingly, they did look for us, but it didn't matter.

We didn't care.

We ended up further into the countryside, finding peace inviting.

There wasn't much food in the past weeks that we had and we were forced on the streets.

But it was okay.

Strangely enough, I was happy... I think we both were. We needed to get away from everyday shenanigans that we were part of in that household.

I...didn't feel anything as I left. I had nothing there I would miss, everything I ever wanted...was right there with me after all.

Although... I had to leave my best friend behind because of this.

I think he is most likely happier than he would have been with us. We have no food or a roof after all.

Clenching a stray cat to my chest, I watched Karamatsu pace around in front of me, stomping the dirt of the alleyway as he did, his thoughts loud and clear.

He clearly thought I was listening to what he was telling me, but I zoomed out on him a while back.

If I told him he was schizophrenic, wonder how he would react...

He didn't stop, he kept ranting and I finally decided to listen again...and apparently it was at a good time, "...sleeping in a rented apartment, you follow me brother?"

I nod, even though I was not, and he carries on, "So in the end, all we need to do is find jobs."

This again?

"I can't do anything."

Karamatsu was annoyed, "Yes, yes you can."

I sigh and sink back against the box I was sitting on. We have been using capsule hotels every three days or so, for what little money Karamatsu had left, so it wasn't so bad. We traveled plenty on foot or by catching a car for a lift, going aimlessly, wherever possible just further away. We managed...and that is all that mattered.

Ah, the stray cat got bored and jumped out of my arms... Too bad.

"Where did that confidence come from?"

"Because I believe in you."

My face heated up when I was once again reminded of those words. I don't think I was blushing, not at all...but my ears were probaby red at the tips.

"Ichimatsu..." Karamatsu adjusted his shades, "Believe in me who believes in you!"

I just stare and he sighs, then comes over to give me a hand off the box, "Come now. I have an idea for a perfect job for you."

You won't believe it but... We entered a library. I am not entirely sure what he was thinking when he decided on this job for me, but... I wasn't hating it.

It was quiet and I wouldn't need to speak to people too much.

But above all...it was quiet.

I really liked that.

I guess, for my first job ever, I could indeed try it.

Of course, I flung the test on book knowledge...but they were short on hands so I got lucky.

While I was going to settle here, Karamatsu would...

Come to think of it, I wasn't sure what he was going to do. He said he would pick me up later.

I would have to wait...but that is one thing I was good at.

For the first time ever, I was happy...happy with changes in my life, sudden or not.

As long as I had him.

 ** _[TBC]_**


	7. Part Seven

_**Part Seven**_

I never thought I would like books as much as I did ever since I got the job. Usually, with not much to do, I finished one book after another.

It has been a month since we ended up in this village far north up from Tokyo and...all was well.

Karamatsu pursuit his job as a music artist, while also working at a local cafe part-time. We didn't have much money. Everything we had was nearly enough to meet ends, none the less...

It was alright. For a life such as this, it was more than enough.

I didn't get a new cat, but I continued feeding the stray ones they had in the area here. No surprise, I usually found at least two the next morning meowing at our front door, asking for food.

...I said "our", eh...?

Indeed, neither him nor I were alone anymore...

And it was beautiful in its own right.

I don't think Karamatsu ever felt like he was not needed anymore. Because I clearly need him... Then again, if he ever felt that way I trusted him to tell me.

I would do the same.

I stopped feeling worthless...and lonely. Because I was neither. Karamatsu made sure I understood that...and eventually I got it through my thick skull.

We both did.

We did what we could for each other. And the ending result was magical.

Because we-

"Welcome back home, Ichi," Karamatsu smiled widely, his eyes shining in a way I have never seen before, this look being solely for me...and no one else.

I learned to smile too...kind of awkwardly, but none the less...it was a genuine smile.

He would wrap his arms around me and I would press our lips together, arms around his neck.

And everything would be perfect. The world was finally at peace, at a right place for us both.

Separately - we would both be dead. Together - we are strong.

Because...we are more than brothers. We were created solely for each other.

And because, indeed...

We both see the same thing.

The same picture.

The same world.

Through similar yet different eyes.

And nothing else mattered.

 _ **[The End.]**_

 _ **Thank you for reading.**_


End file.
